


Scribbulus Pt 1

by pat_o_cake



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, The Mighty Boosh (TV)
Genre: Fluff, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-05
Updated: 2018-08-05
Packaged: 2019-06-22 05:04:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 643
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15574398
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pat_o_cake/pseuds/pat_o_cake
Summary: Howard is running Scribbulus's stationary shop in Diagon Alley. Vince returns after a Magical Safari amidst post-Dumblydore Death angst in the Wizarding world. Tea drinking and catching up ensues.





	Scribbulus Pt 1

Drizzle smeared its way down the mullioned windows of Scribbulus’s Ink shop as Howard Moon gazed drearily into the dull, late autumn afternoon. Diagon Alley had never been so glum. A spate of disappearances, shop closures and pervasive feeling of brooding mistrust between the local community had left Howard feeling awfully sombre. He often noted he was at his most creative when feeling down, but even a total rearrangement of the shop’s stock of specialist inks did nothing to lift his spirits. 

With a sigh, he trudged towards the back of the shop to read the latest issue of “Jazz Magic Jazz”, when the bell above the door jangled brightly. Sweeping into the shop and shaking an umbrella with no concern for the otherwise, spotlessly dry interior was a figure wearing a faux-fur trimmed cobalt blue travelling robe, accented with sequins. Howard stood aghast as the figure cheerfully strode towards him, wearing an expression of naïve delight.

“Alright Howard! How’s things?”

Howard blinked. Several times. He looked him up from toe to head and gasped wordlessly in frustration.

“Vince - where the bloody hell have you been?”

“On holiday!” Vince replied, smiling gratuitously.

Howard stood at the counter and tried to make himself as authoritative as possible. 

“You went out to get some teabags four months ago” Howard said, his moustache twitching irritably. “I had to work the summer rush on my own – You know how busy it gets with the Hogwarts lot coming in before September!” He exclaimed.

“Sorry Howard, but it was the chance of a lifetime, y’know? A free four month long magical safari doesn’t come your way everyday,” Vince explained, walking about the shop. “I got talking to some old geezer who reckoned he had an expose on inside-out snake people in Germany, but it turned out to be some muggle called Iggy Pop on tour. It was alright though, I got to talk to a viper in France who sold his own skin to make slippers out of and ran with a herd of wild unicorns in Belgium – it was genius!” Vince mused, already mucking around with the neat display of primary colour inks. 

Howard was aghast. Steering Vince away from the stock, he grasped his slight shoulders and looked him in the eye.

“You could have at least told me where you were, sent an owl or something!” He exclaimed, "It’s been Bedlam here!"

The door inched open, blown by the wind and the bell tinkled rather pathetically.

“Yeah, it looks it. I know it’s been quiet, you’ve separated the primary coloured inks from the tertiary and organised them alphabetically by musical scale.” Vince stated. “Anyhow, you could have always got the ODO to help out, he’s only down the road”

“ODO?” Howard asked, becoming increasingly annoyed with the beaming nonce in front of him.

“Ol’ Dirty Ollivander! He’s always out the back of his shop, lurking over Reader’s Witches – he’d be happy to give you a hand.”

Howard sighed, loosing a little of the anger that had been thrashing inside of him. Vince obviously hadn’t been listening to the news. Howard was sure he hadn’t been reading, because he was certain Vince couldn’t actually read. He let go of Vince’s shoulders and scratched his temple.

“Ollivander’s gone missing. The whole of Diagon Alley is in a right state.” Then, in hushed tone he whispered. “You-Know-Who is back Vince – it’s pretty grim, sir.”

Vince pouted and drooped. “Aw, not him, Voldie’s a right tosspot.” 

Howard’s limbs wildly scattered temporarily as Vince mentioned that name. “Shsshhh! Keep it down you gypsy queen!” He stammered. “Look, go get the brews on and I’ll tell you the news – you’ll not like it”.

Vince nodded, seemingly apathetically and wandered into the kitchen behind the shop. He tapped his wand on the kettle and pulled out a box of teabags from his cloak.


End file.
